Peerage

Exciting news - I've just become a Lady. After hankering after being an aristocrat since I was a young girl, I have finally given up waiting for a toff to whisk me off my feet, and shelled out £29.99 for a peerage off the internet. It's been on my mind for a while.

It's all legal and above board. I can update my passport, driving licence, bank details etc accordingly and - naturally - I expect everyone to refer to me by my new title (or, at the very least, m'lady). I own one square foot of land in Scotland, I have legal rights to go fishing on my estate AND I have a little card to prove my worth... as well as a plush certificate. How about that then?

It seemed pointless waiting around to become a lady through the traditional channels. And since P gave me a diamond ring for my birthday, I think it's a bit unfair to start shopping around for a proper Lord (not that I'd find one who would compare to P anyway, sigh).

Lady Jane