Friday, January 12, 2007

Room 101 (Part One)

This will be an on-going bile-fuelled project. But here begins my long list of things to be thrown head first into Room 101:

1) Barbara Windsor
Surely this doesn't need an explanation? The woman is evil in a bubble perm. She is single-handedly responsible for the downfall of EastEnders. She should be ashamed of herself, except she's too busy being a fake media luvvy.

2) Slow walkers
People who walk so slowly that, when it's impossible for you to go past them, you are reduced to stopping. What's that all about? See also, people who pay good money to go to the gym simply to use the treadmill and walk slowly on a flat level. Why?

3) Pop Idol/ Popstars/ The X-Factor/ Fame Academy/ and a million off-shoots
Never mind home-taping, these karaoke shows are killing music. Where's the soul in an over-produced cover-version by a vacuous wannabe model with zero personality? Have Pete Waterman and Simon Cowell no morals?

4) Smokers
I realise that smoking kills brain cells, but how many brain cells do smokers need to realise that smoking is also going to end ther life... painfully? And as if that's not stupid enough, smokers also selfishly insist on inflicting their cancer-ridden fumes on everyone nearby, as well as wrecking the environment with their toxic smoke, plastic and metallic pack rubbish, and tar-ridden fag butts that don't biodegrade (but do choke birds who peck at them). Don't get me started on this one, I'll be here all day.

5) London Transport
£1 for a bus journey and £4 for a one-stop Tube journey in central London? Don't take the piss. And Ken "I'm a big fat twat" Livingstone wonders why there are less and less tourists coming here. They can't afford to, you Routemaster-stealing idiot.

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