Wake Up Sleepy Jean

Velvet Empire is feeling a little tired these days. In fact, on Thursday I was so tired I thought I was going to be sick. (True).

And the reason? The bloody MA. I’ve only been doing it for five weeks, but already I am starting to resemble a grey, tired, haggard and dying heroin addict. The irony is, I haven’t even got the constitution to stomach so much as a glass of wine these days.

Wednesday really took the biscuit. After attending a seminar, my hundredth library tour, and then a workshop on writing a critical bibliography (2,000 words due in 10 days), I met my uni pals Paul and Rebecca and went for a moan and a pizza. A few hours spent sharing horror stories of dictatorial librarians and socially retarded PHD graduates was good therapy.

Anyway, it was midnight by the time I got home and half past by the time I fell into bed - and one minute later before I was comatose under the duvet. And it was 2am before I was woken by a horrible screeching sound, and realised with horror that it was the fire alarm in our building. I debated ignoring it but then had a vision of Trevor in EastEnders burning to death in the Slaters’ house, and hauled myself out of bed, pulled on my coat and joined my neighbours on the pavement. An hour later we were allowed back in but by this point I was so traumatised I couldn’t get back to sleep.

So my day at work on Thursday was spent yawning, blinking a lot and sitting in the ladies’ with my eyes shut for 40 winks. I spent Thursday trying to hold back the tears and the bile! And my double vision made it difficult to sub all the copy I was presented with at work. (So I’ll never get a repeat booking here!)

By the time the No 24 had crawled home from Camden to Westminster (cruelly kicking me out at Big Ben and making me walk the final 20 minutes in the cold), I was ready to slit my wrists. The thought of another few hours reading and preparation for the critical bibliography haunted me, but I had to admit defeat and collapse in bed by 9pm.

So roll on the weekend. I anticipate 10 hour library sessions and late nights sobbing into a keyboard trying to write my first assignment. Help. Anyone who knows anything about Virginia Woolf and the supernatural - please feel free to share.