Friday, October 13, 2006

Barbara Bloody Windsor

In the current issue of New! magazine, thespian Ross Kemp says: "Barbara Windsor is the sexiest woman on TV. She's a lovely, lovely, sexy lady. And for her age she's doing brilliantly. She's absolutely stunning."

Coming from a 42-year-old queen, should we take any notice that the bald-headed buffoon fancies a 69-year-old harlot who single-handed ruined the once-stirling reputation of EastEnders? No.

By the way - as a licence payer, I was horrified to turn on my television last night and witness Barbara bloody Windsor slaughtring "My Way" on karaoke in the Vic. I want a refund.

Anyone who knows me, will already know my thoughts on the wickedness that is the loose-knickered Barbara-Ann Deeks from Stoke Newington, N16 (who, by the way, should really ask for a refund for that drama school she apparently went to). Outrageous. However, should anyone want further information regarding this loathsome witch, I have already compiled a dosier entitled "40 Reasons To Hate Barbara Windsor", which I have ready for immediate perusual - currently kept in the top drawer of the office of one of the UK's finest soap opera magazines. (Seriously).

Spleen has been vented.

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