Last night, AB and I were drinking in The American Bar at The Savoy, belatedly celebrating her birthday. But as I emerged from the ladies', I found a new friend.
Making my way back through the foyer, a rather suave older man stepped in line beside me. "Are you going straight ahead or turning right?" he asked.
I looked at him, and rather boredly said, "Turning right, I suppose." So he did, too.
As we went up the steps towards The American Bar, we were met by the tinkle of the piano player and his singing. So my new friend asked, full of confidence and ignoring my cold shoulder, "Do you sing or do you play the piano?"
"Well, I got my grade one in piano when I was 12. How about that?"
Clearly impressed by my ivory skills (ahem), he said, "You're much more talented than me, I never even got that."
Disappointed, I stopped, looked at him and asked, witheringly, "So you don't even know where middle C is?". And left.
Dirty old sod.
My top tip to any male readers who are on the look out for a lady: never proposition a girl when she's just come out of the ladies' (which has happened twice in the last few months) – it really gives off the wrong impression.
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